Darling Lorraine

“Darling Lorraine” is a story-song by Paul Simon that tells of the emotional journey of Lorraine and Frank. By saying “emotional journey,” I mean that Simon is relating the ups and downs, the ecstasies and the miseries in the emotions of their relationship. He could have tracked the logic of the marriage or the history as seen from outside of the relationship; but instead, he follows the ebb and flow of their feelings for each other. It is a captivating window into one couple’s turbulent relationship. Interspersed throughout are insights into how feelings often overrule common sense. It is a cautionary tale of the power of emotions. Dallas Willard said, “Feelings are, with a few exceptions, good servants. But they are disastrous masters.”[1]

"Darling Lorraine"

(Listen while you read)

The first time I saw her

I couldn't be sure

But the sin of impatience

Said "She's just what you're looking for"

So I walked right up to her

And with the part of me that talks

I introduced myself as Frank

From New York,

New York

She's so hot

She's so cool

I'm not

I'm just a fool in love with Darling Lorraine

All my life I've been a wanderer

Not really, I mostly lived near my parent’s home

Anyway Lorraine and I got married

And the usual marriage stuff

Then one day she says to me

From out of the blue

She says, "Frank, I've had enough

Romance is a heart-breaker

I'm not meant to be a homemaker

And I'm tired of being Darling Lorraine"

What!? you don't love me anymore?

What!? you're walking out the door?

What!? you don't like the way I chew?

Hey, let me tell you

You're not the woman that I wed

You say you're depressed but you're not

You just like to stay in bed

I don't need you darling Lorraine

Darling Lorraine

Lorraine

I long for your love

Financially speaking

I guess I'm a washout

Everybody's buy and sell

And sell and buy

That's what the whole thing's all about

If it had not been Lorraine

I'd have left here long ago

I should have been a musician

I love the piano

She's so light

She's so free

I'm tight, well, that's me

But I feel so good

With Darling Lorraine

On Christmas morning Frank awakes

To find Lorraine has made a stack of pancakes

They watch the television, husband and wife

All afternoon "It's a wonderful life"

What!? you don't love me anymore?

What!? you're walking out the door?

What!? you don't like the way I chew?

Hey let me tell you

You're not the woman that I wed

Gimme my robe I'm going back to bed

I'm sick to death of you Lorraine

Darling Lorraine

Lorraine

Her hands like wood

The doctor was smiling

But the news wasn't good

Darling Lorraine

Please don't leave me yet

I know you're in pain

Pain you can't forget

Your breathing is like an echo of our love

Maybe I'll go down to the corner store

And buy us something sweet

Here's an extra blanket honey

To wrap around your feet

All the trees were washed with April rain

And the moon in the meadow

Took Darling Lorraine

Words and music by Paul Simon

Copyright held by Universal Music Publishing Group

Works Cited:

Willard, Dallas. Renovation of the Heart. Carol Stream: NavPress, 2002.

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[1] (Willard 2002)

Deep Thoughts by Kilobot 142

The CBC news site had an article about a Harvard research group that built 1,024 tiny robots. The "Kilobots" have three tiny legs and are powered by a rechargeable battery. They express a "hive mentality" in which the researchers can send a signal to the group of robots and they will assemble into groupings of various shapes. For example, the robot creators can "tell" them to make the shape of a starfish and the Kilobots will collectively assemble into a star shape. The system works on a few simple principles related to proximity to other bots, coordinates, and move or be still logic. If a Kilobot is on the edge of a grouping it must "decide" whether to move or not move. If an individual Kilobot is surrounded by other bots it can then "relax" knowing that it will sit still until other bots move away from it, leaving it on an edge. Now of course, as we speak of this, we tend to assign thoughts when there are no thoughts going on. As the writers of the article said, "the Kilobots are not exactly thinking deep thoughts."

This got me thinking, what would Kilobot thoughts sound like? So, with a nod to "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" I present to you, "Deep Thoughts by Kilobot #142." (Note, this thought experiment requires cheesy keyboard music - not supplied.)

Wait, where am I? Oh good, middle of the pack.

Livin' large, on the edge!

Why am I here? Har! just kidding.

Who is my creator? Har! just kidding.

Where am I going? Oh, who cares, I'll just follow the others.

Look at the legs on 1017!

Bump! HeaHeaHea!

Battery low - send electrons!

AJ or JC?

A man in a rural region near Kingaroy, Queensland, Australia has made an extreme claim. He says he is Jesus, yes, the Christ, and that his partner is Mary Magdalene. He claims to remember the crucifixion and the emotions of Mary as she watched. He remembers resurrecting several people including Lazarus. AJ Miller now runs a religious movement called "Divine Truth" and teaches seminars, sells DVDs, and takes donations.

Someone I know was pulled into a discussion of how one would go about proving this guy to be wrong. His friend on FaceBook, once a Christian, but now an atheistic humanist asked how we Christians could discern whether or not such a person's claims were true. The humanist friend was perhaps suggesting that Christians are a little too willing to accept truth claims without sufficient proof.

I think we can tackle such a problem with logic and faith. While seeking to be charitable to all involved in this discussion I would suggest that there are multiple ways to weigh the evidence and find it wanting in a case such as this.

Some would simply argue from biblical texts and show that this man's life, and the circumstances of his birth and life do not fit with what the Bible has to say about the return of Jesus Christ. I believe several others have already waded into this discussion with quotes from the Bible. If one is willing to accept the Bible as the words of God (indeed, the Word of God, and Jesus as the incarnation of that Word) then it is quite simple to show that this person did not show up the way the Bible says Jesus will return.

However, let us consider the community in which these questions are being debated. Most of the FaceBook audience will not want you to start from the Bible. If someone does not want a Biblical argument we might start at a different place. We could ask the other person, "Who do you think Jesus was?" "Who do you think he is now?" "Why do you think he might come back to the earth?" Then, based on what they think of Jesus we might say, "Does this guy fit your expectation of the "return" of Jesus?" If he does fit what they expect we might warn them to be cautious about turning over their life-savings to the guy and wish them luck. We might say that we think this guy does not fit our understanding of the Messiah and that he has not returned in the way the Bible has said he would; but, in God's economy he does allow people to do things that are spiritually dangerous and allows them to walk away from him.

We do need to recognize that we live in a world without absolute proofs. We have axioms, theories, and evidence which support a theory to the point where the theory becomes a statistical proof. At some point we start to believe the statistical proof is close enough to proof to say "I believe in that theory." Those of us with a faith background still use some form of theory, evidence, statistical proof, and belief. I cannot prove God exists. I have pretty good evidence that someone named Jesus existed. I have plenty of literary evidence to substantiate some of what he said. At some point I begin to believe in God and in the deity of Jesus.

In further conversations with those who believe that AJ Miller is Jesus, we might have to resort to further logic. If I were to make the claim that I am a poached egg (to follow a line of reasoning presented by C.S. Lewis), then you would have to determine, "What is a poached egg?" "Does Keith fit with my expectations of what a poached egg should look like or act like?" If Keith does not fit this then one of our definitions of a poached egg is wrong. If I am not a poached egg, then I am either a liar or mentally unstable in suggesting that I am a poached egg.

AJ Miller is not the first person to claim to be the returning Messiah. His claims may simply be more direct than some others before. It will be interesting to watch his religious movement and see what becomes of him and his followers. If it follows previous patterns, we can expect that the movement will end in disunity or disaster. Perhaps the words of Gamaliel are in order here: "Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail.  But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." Acts 5:38, 39. At this point, there is no evidence to suggest that AJ Miller is from God.