Can't Erase It

Jars of Clay, the band from Greenville, Illinois, has a song entitled “Can’t Erase It” on the If I Left the Zoo album. The lyrics are written below. It is a song that captures the angst of trying to be one thing when we know we should be something else. Read the lyrics, listen to the song, and read some thoughts about the song below.

Can’t Erase It

Follow the crowd and love everybody now
'Cause love is the best thing for you now
But you changed your mind you let everybody down
But down is the best place for you
It's easier that way you know it's

So wrong can't embrace it
wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it and you won't escape it

Don't waste your time
Your words only confine you
To all of the things you've buried now
Don't ask them why
Their wisdom will leave you blind

But blind is the best thing for you
It's easier I know, you know it's

So wrong, can't embrace it
Wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it, and you won't escape it

How long will you face it
Till the weight comes crashing down on you
'Cause you can't erase it, and you won't escape it

Songwriters: Charlie Lowell / Dan Haseltine / Matt Odmark / Stephen Daniel Mason

Can't Erase It lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Capitol Christian Music Group

Dan Haseltine, in an interview once said that this song is "About fighting our deepest desire to be who we are not." Why do we have such a strong desire to be something we are not? Because we want to fit in with the majority and just like when we were in high school, we have this strong desire to fit in with the cool kids.

There are many things that can get in the way of being who God has made us to be. The majority culture says, “You don’t need God, just 'follow the crowd and love everybody.'” We hear this very regularly on our various media sources and we begin to believe that this is the way to live. But it is easy to change our mind and not really want to “love everybody.” It is truly hard to simply boost ourselves up to a level where we can love everybody. Bitterness and anger are the result. On our own we cannot love everybody.

If we follow the crowd, we are not being who we truly are. We are conforming to the image of what the crowd thinks we should be. If we follow the crowd, we will do things that we know are “so wrong” and we just won’t be able to embrace that they are right. We can’t erase the things we’ve done. We can’t escape the weight of going against God and against who he has made us to be. But there is one who can “erase it.” God says, “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool” (Isaiah 1:18). Furthermore, “… his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:11, 12). Jesus’ death on the cross was the ultimate way for him to remove the weight of sin and erase our wrong doings: “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:28).

If we bury the wrongs, ignore the wrongs, or embrace the wrongs, the weight will crush us. Instead we must acknowledge and confess and receive release from the weight.

Inland

I have been listening to the songs on Jars of Clay’s album Inland since 2014, shortly after it came out. Some of my favourite songs on the album (I have previously written about some of these) include “After the Fight,” “Reckless Forgiver,” “Loneliness and Alcohol,” and “Fall Asleep.” (The amazing video for Fall Asleep can be seen here.) But one song on the album really did not catch my attention until recently: the title track, "Inland." Now I wonder why I did not spend more time reading the lyrics of this song. They are truly brilliant lyrics that speak of the spiritual journey in which we are all engaged. It speaks of faith, abandoning safety, heading further in, holy ground, and the earth of which we are made. Within the song there is an underlying voice that keeps inviting, calling, and comforting: “come on home to me” and “I'll always be here by your side.” The song is a marvellous invitation into the journey of faith. Listen to the song here.

Inland  

There are no streets to walk on
No maps you can rely on
Faith and guts to guide you
Wander til you find you
Only raw desire
A match to give you fire
You have to trust your heart 

You don’t believe in oceans
You, you were a sailor
Who burn your ship and walked on
Far away you walked on
You keep turning inland
Where no man is an island
It's where you're supposed to be 

Woah oh oh-oh-oh
Woah oh oh-oh-oh
You keep heading inland
No man is an island
Come on home to me 

Afraid of your convictions
They said the land will change you
Steady your confession
Your course make no corrections
When you are a stranger
Hold your tongue and wager
Love will set you free
Until it sets you free 

Woah oh oh-oh-oh
Woah oh oh-oh-oh
You keep walking inland
No man is an island
Come on home to me 

Just follow your desire
Leave it all
You're leaving all
Just burn it in the fire 

Everything you once knew
Everyone that knew you
Remove the shoes you came on
Feel the earth you're made from
Pack up all your questions
Just keep heading inland
Come on home to me
Yeah come on home to me 

Woah oh oh-oh-oh
Woah oh oh-oh-oh
You keep walking inland
No man is an island
Come on home to me 

(I'll always be here by your side
I'm always standing next to you
When the darkness hits the light
We can stand against the tides
I'm always standing next to you
I’m always standing next to you
I'll always be here by your side)

Words and music by Charles Lowell, Daniel Haseltine, Matthew Odmark, Nathan Barlowe, and Stephen Mason
^©A Side Music 

Who Are You?

Do you ever have the feeling that it may be uncomfortable to reveal that you are a Christian? I confess that I have found myself in this position on a few occasions. For pastors like me, this can take the unique form of someone asking me what kind of work I do. When I say that I am a pastor of a church, I know that some people will wonder how to continue on the conversation and it may get quiet for a moment. I sometimes get the sense that the person is now thinking about the things they have just said and wondering how many times they swore or took God’s name in vain in the last ten minutes. They may jokingly say something about only working on Sundays. I would like to avoid such interactions and that is why I might sometime find it hard to tell people that I am a pastor. But I do tell them. I usually transition quickly to asking them what they do for work before slowly bringing the conversation back to the church.

For you it may take the form of people having coffee or lunch together at work and they may be talking about some variation of Christians that they have seen. They may say something like, can you believe those Christians in the United States, how they will support Republican/Democratic Political leaders who are badly flawed? They may of course say this in much stronger words and right-off anyone who is a Christian as just the same as this lot. They will point to persons who are Christians that will refuse services to gay or lesbian couples and suggest that this is not very loving. It can be very difficult to say, “Hey, wait a minute, I am a Christian too; and let me tell you the background on why such issues are important to Christians.”

Christians used to be at the centre of our North American culture. Pastors used to be one of the resources that people looked to. They were a source of wisdom in city planning, they were counselors for marriages and mental health, they were respected members of the community that were invited to significant civic events and they would be asked to pray for community events and meals. If it was known that a person attended church on a regular basis they were viewed as a pillar of the community and their character was immediately trusted; they were hired ahead of those who only attended church at Christmas and Easter. We trusted Christians to lead us in politics and community life.

Certainly, we now find ourselves in a different place; on the edges of society; in the margins. We are no longer at the centre of our culture. Civic leaders no longer come to pastors or Christians for their wisdom or help. Sometimes we find ourselves looked upon with suspicion or as people with an agenda. We find ourselves at odds with the values of our majority culture.

It can leave us with a lack of firm grounding in who we are as a people. It can leave us feeling that we have lost our identity. 1 Peter 2:9-12 says,

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

“Once you had no identity as a people;
    now you are God’s people.
Once you received no mercy;
    now you have received God’s mercy.”

Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.

Practically speaking, what does it mean that we are a Royal Priesthood, a Chosen People, a Holy Nation, and God’s Own Possession? It means that we will be strangers and aliens in this world. We are not of this world, “this world is not my home, I’m just a passing through.” When our world wants us all to conform to the ways, thoughts, and values of this world, we will be a holy people of God. When Facebook posts suggest that we like something or someone or some issue, we will be a holy people of God. When the lunch conversation is about something that everyone else is agreeing with, we will be a holy people of God. Will this be easy? No. Will we always know what to say? No. But the holiness and love of God’s people must show through.

The band, Jars of Clay wrote a song which captures the struggle we have with our identity in Christ. The song is called “Trouble Is” and is from the album Who We Are Instead.

Trouble Is 
(Jars of Clay)

My wings don't sail me to the sky

On my own these wings won't fly

Jesus told me so

Still I'm not so sure that I know

Can't find no rest for my soul

Can't find no rest on my own

Jesus told me so

Still I'm not so sure that I know

Man, the trouble is

We don't know who we are instead

I'll keep runnin' the other way

My heart ain't built to stay

My heart ain't built to stay

And the world just ain't that way

Man, the trouble is

We don't know who we are instead

Songwriters: Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell, Stephen Daniel Mason, Matt Odmark, and Aaron Sands. Published by Universal Music Publishing Group.

When we know that we are “the chosen people of God, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation,” then we will know who we are and how we will live; and the clear difference in our Christian lives will be evident to the unbelieving world around.

Body and Wine

I write a blog, first and foremost, as a place to work out my own faith. There are times when the best way to sort out what is going on is to spill out emotions and words. The first draft makes little sense. The edits make it a learning process. On a really good day those thoughts also help someone else. Meditation on the words of others can be a great way to stir up this practise and there are many times when I turn to Jars of Clay. “Body and Wine” is one of those songs that has not yet revealed to me its full meaning. I meditate upon the words and sometimes something comes clearer. There are real questions here. There are real questions that need an answer: “What if this was all that we were made of; . . . all that we could make of love? If there wasn’t more, I wouldn’t be here.” What if humanistic science tried to tell us that we were only a collection of carbon, water, and trace elements? What if that was all that we were made of? If there wasn’t more, what would keep me here? What would make this earth worth staying for? If it’s been a while since I was king, is there someone else who should be on the throne? Hero or crime? Hero and crime? Body and wine.

Body and Wine

(Listen while you read)

Rusty ground and dusty roads

It's been a while since you were king

Undermined and overthrown

You tried to run it on your own

Forget the birds with broken wings

Under piles of things on things

No one stops and no one stares

Seen it all and no one cares

What if this was all that we were made of?

This was all that we could make of love

If there wasn't more, I wouldn't be here

Hero and crime, body and wine

Drove my heart toward the sea

Passed the graves up over hills

Saw the spires hit the ground

Voices raised without a sound

What if this was all that we were made of?

This was all that we could make of love

If there wasn't more, I wouldn't be here

Hero and crime, body and wine

Hero and crime, body and wine

What if this was all that we were made of?

This was all that we could make of love

If there wasn't more, I wouldn't be here

Hero and crime, body and wine

What if this was all that we were made of?

This was all that we could make of love

If there wasn't more, I wouldn't be here

Hero and crime, body and wine

Hero and crime, body and wine

Body and wine

Words & music by: Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell, Stephen Mason, Matt Odmark

Produced by: Jars of Clay

Commenting on the song “Loneliness and Alcohol,” Steve Mason (one of the members of Jars of Clay) said, “Everything matters . . . there is always something artful to be said.”

Reckless Forgiver

The band Jars of Clay sings about a “Reckless Forgiver” (listen to the song here) on their album Inland. I leave it to your imagination as to who it is that truly forgives recklessly. I may not be fully capable of reckless forgiveness but I certainly could be more generous with my forgiveness.

Reckless Forgiver
(Composed and performed by "Jars of Clay;" 2013)
Writers: Charles Daniel Lowell, Daniel Paul Haseltine, Matthew Thomas Odmark, Stephen Daniel Mason; Copyright: Middle Space Publishing (BMI), Grow Your Own Music O.B.O. Middle Space Publishing.

Loneliness, loneliness, it won't last forever
Happiness, happiness, wait in line

Every time I look in the mirror
I'm in the shadow of doubt
Maybe I'm as lost as the next guy
Who just has to find, just have to find out

All I want is peace like a river
Long life of sanity, love that won't leave too soon
Someone to pull out the splinters
A reckless forgiver
You know I'm talking to you

I made a mess, made a mess
Of the heart I borrowed
So get undressed, get undressed
Laugh tomorrow

Every time I look in the mirror
I'm in the shadow of doubt
Maybe I'm as lost as the next guy
Just have to find

All I want is peace like a river
Long life of sanity, love that won't leave too soon
Someone to pull out the splinters
A reckless forgiver
You know I'm talking to you
I leave it all for you

All I want is peace like a river
Long life of sanity, love that won't leave too soon
Someone to pull out the splinters
A reckless forgiver
You know I'm talking to you

I want peace like a river
Long life of sanity, love that won't leave too soon
Someone to pull out the splinters
A reckless forgiver
You know I'm talking to you

I leave it all for you
You know I'm talking to you

I leave it all for you
All for you
Yeah, Yeah
I leave it all for you

Follow-Up to Much Afraid

The Much Afraid album contains a song called "Crazy Times." Jars of Clay band members have said in interviews that this song is about how prayer is often "the last place we go." I understand what they mean. We go about life without a thought about God and think that we are fine - for a while. Life soon gets crazy and we find that we need more than just ourselves to get through the complexities of life. Through our tears, we realize that we are not self-sufficient, we cry out to God but, we do not know how to pray. We have lost the ability to rely on a personal God whom we have ignored for so long. We climb the ladder of prayer but there are missing rungs. The ladder has been neglected and damaged and we have failed to notice until we reach out to use it. God, save me from these crazy times!

Crazy Times (Listen to it here.) 

(Words and music by Dan Haseltine, Stephen Mason, Matt Odmark, and Charlie Lowell, copyright Essential Records, 1997.)

You're cold that way
And that's why you say
The things that you say
You can't attract
The things that you lack
You're trying in vain 

It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right 

You spiral down
You've broken your crown
You don't feel like a queen
You've seen the proof
But you're still crying wolf
You'll never believe 

It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right 

You try to climb a broken ladder
Grip the missing rungs
And fall down, down, down
Seems sometime ago you said
This wouldn't last
And now you sit here crying 

Beside your bed
You feel left for dead
You kneel in the dark.. 

It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right 

It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right

Much Afraid

It has been 17 years since the band "Jars of Clay" released their Much Afraid collection of songs. The album was influenced by the fact that band members had read Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. The following quote introduces the concept that Love and Pain go together.

'She bent forward to look, then gave a startled little cry and drew back. There was indeed a seed lying in the palm of his hand, but it was shaped exactly like a long, sharply-pointed thorn… ‘The seed looks very sharp,’ she said shrinkingly. ’Won’t it hurt if you put it into my heart?’

He answered gently, ‘It is so sharp that it slips in very quickly. But, Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that Love and Pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know Love, you must know pain too.’ 

Much-Afraid looked at the thorn and shrank from it. Then she looked at the Shepherd’s face and repeated his words to herself. ’When the seed of Love in your heart is ready to bloom, you will be loved in return,’ and a strange new courage entered her. She suddenly stepped forward, bared her heart, and said, ‘Please plant the seed here in my heart.’ 

His face lit up with a glad smile and he said with a note of joy in his voice, ‘Now you will be able to go with me to the High Places and be a citizen in the Kingdom of my Father.’ 

Then he pressed the thorn into her heart. It was true, just as he had said, it did cause a piercing pain, but it slipped in quickly and then, suddenly, a sweetness she had never felt or imagined before tingled through her. It was bittersweet, but the sweetness was the stronger. She thought of the Shepherd’s words, ‘It is so happy to love,’ and her pale, sallow cheeks suddenly glowed pink and her eyes shone. For a moment Much-Afraid did not look afraid at all.'1 

The Much Afraid album contains many creative songs including "Crazy Times", "Overjoyed," "Fade to Grey," "Tea and Sympathy," "Frail," "Five Candles (You Were There)," and the title track.2

"Much Afraid" 

Empty again
Sunken down so far
So scared to fall
I might not get up again 

So I lay at your feet
All my brokenness
I carry all of my burdens to you 

All of these things
I've held up in vain
No reason nor rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go 

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before 

All of these things
I've held up in vain
No reason nor rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go 3

#jarsofclay #muchafraid


1 Hannah Hurnard, Hinds' Feet on High Places, www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/13288.Hannah_Hurnard
2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Much_Afraid
3 Words and music by Dan Haseltine, Stephen Mason, Matt Odmark, and Charlie Lowell, copyright Essential Records, 1997.

Inland

I discovered a great new album last night: Inland by Jars of Clay. Released in August of 2013, this collection of songs sounds as good as previous albums like Who We Are Instead (2003) or Much Afraid (1997). The lyrics are mysterious, poetic, and haunting. They speak to the condition of every human soul. They speak of angst, pain, loneliness, depression, joy, and love. Here is a sample of the album; the song is called "Loneliness & Alcohol."

"Loneliness & Alcohol"
Written by Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell, Steve Mason, and Matt Odmark
(listen to it here) 

The sound of television creeping through the halls
Left in the wild like a tree pulled from the dirt
You fill the sky with burning arrows from your heart
Throw your bottles out to sea and watch them float away 

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
You bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol 

Hide your diamonds in the dirt in careful rows
Let your doubt unravel all their, all their pretty bows
‘Cause your heart is broken by the things you love
And your light, it carries but it’s not enough to change the weather 

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol 

You get buried under all these lines, all this light, all these lies
You get buried under all these lines, all this light, all the time 

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol 

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol

Other songs on the album are equally strong and I find it hard to choose favourites but certainly "After the Fight" and "Human Race" are in the running; but how could I leave out "Reckless Forgiver." You will have to choose favourites for yourself. Check out the whole album at their website: www.jarsofclay.com.