Roses and Wildflowers

Jesus set the book of nature before me and I saw that all the flowers he has created are lovely. The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realized that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wildflowers to make the meadows gay.

It is just the same in the world of souls ‑ which is the garden of Jesus. He has created the great saints who are like the lilies and the roses, but he has also created much lesser saints and they must be content to be the daisies or the violets which rejoice his eyes whenever he glances down. Perfection consists in doing his will, in being that which he wants us to be.

Jesus, help me to simplify my life by learning what you want me to be ‑ and becoming that person.

Saint Therese of Lisieux, from Story of a Soul

I like this quote from Therese of Lisieux and it causes me to think about my life. Of course the difficulty of what she is saying is in knowing whether Jesus wants me to be a rose, a wildflower, or a daisy. I never want to settle for being a daisy if Jesus has called me to be a rose; nor do I want to strive to be a rose, if I am called to be a wildflower. It seems that such decisions require a good deal of discernment and listening to Jesus. As Therese says, “Perfection consists in doing his will, in being that which he wants us to be.” Indeed, if that is the case, then I must listen carefully to the voice of Jesus to know his will for my life and to know that which he wants me to be. That likely takes more time than I usually allot to such endeavours. It may take the guidance of coaches, mentors, spiritual directors, and other people in my life. Even as I consider how much time and energy such a process might take, I am convinced that the rewards of discovering who it is that Jesus wants me to be will far outweigh the difficulty in the journey. May each of us become the person we are called to be.

Flowers and Souls

Jesus set the book of nature before me and I saw that all the flowers he has created are lovely. The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realized that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wildflowers to make the meadows gay.

It is just the same in the world of souls which is the garden of Jesus. He has created the great saints who are like the lilies and the roses, but he has also created much lesser saints and they must be content to be the daisies or the violets which rejoice his eyes whenever he glances down. Perfection consists in doing his will, in being that which he wants us to be.

Jesus, help me to simplify my life by learning what you want me to be - and becoming that person.

Saint Therese of Lisieux, from Story of a Soul

Marriage and the Census

Let me express my bias from the beginning. I am a hopeless romantic who believes in the love of one man for one woman for as long as both shall live. On October 2nd my wife and I celebrated our 33rd anniversary of dating. We have now been married 31 years and in that time we have seen many ups and downs and, like most couples, there were times when we wondered if we would be able to make it and keep the love alive. Yet, through the birth of three daughters, the loss of both of my wife's parents, two university degrees, and too many stressors to count, we find that we still love being together.

Recent statistics from the 2010 Canadian Census show that marriage is still a strong option for people in this country and that many marriages last for a long time. In 2008 it was estimated that 41% of marriages ended in divorce before the 30th year of marriage, an increase from 36% in 1998.1 Yet that still means that 59% of marriages last beyond 30 years. The following graph shows the raw number of marriages and divorces in Canada for the years 1926 to 2008. If we take the number of marriages in a given year, divide that number by the number of divorces in that same year, we can see some trends in the data. In 1926, there were 112.5 times as many marriages as divorces. In 1960 the ratio drops to 18.7 times as many marriages as divorces. 1970 sees a further drop to 6.3. By 1980 it is down to 3.1; dropping to its lowest in 1987 at 1.9. From 1988 to 2008, the ratio hovers around 2 (from 2.4 to 2.0). This means that twice as many people got married as got divorced in any one of those years. I will leave it to the reader to decide how optimistic or pessimistic we should be about such numbers and trends.

"After the spike in 1987, the number of divorces declined, then levelled off through the 1990s and has recently decreased in both 2007 and 2008." (Statistics Canada 2011)

The benefits to both the married couple and the children of such long-term marriages are great. Of course not every marriage that lasts 30 or more years is a healthy one. We can all point to examples of long-term marriages that are seriously hurting; yet we need to celebrate marriages that truly succeed.

As a celebration of long-lasting love Mike Charko and I wrote a story-song about a love that lasted. We call it "Flowers." You can listen to the recording while reading the lyrics.

Flowers
(Words and lyrics by Mike Charko and Keith Shields 2012 SOCAN)

His heart was smitten by this sweet young girl
She was the one who could rock his world
He didn't quite know the right protocol
But sure she was the best of all
He brought her the perfect gift

He brought her flowers
When he didn't know what to do
He brought her flowers
To prove his love was true
When the road was rough
Or when times were good
When he knew his love could never be enough
But this love was all he knew
So he brought her flowers

She said I'm not sure about marrying you
This world is big and there is so much to do
Afraid he'd lost her to another goal
So he looked down inside his soul
And he promised with all of his might

And he brought her flowers
When he didn't know what to do
He brought her flowers
To prove his love was true
When the road was rough
Or when times were good
When he knew his love could never be enough
But this love was all he knew
So he brought her flowers

When she brought him their son
And three more girls
He had all he could want in this world
When the kids moved out
And she was blue
He knew what he had to do

He brought her flowers
When he didn't know what to do
He brought her flowers
To prove his love was true
When the road was rough
Or when times were good
When he knew his love could never be enough
But this love was all he knew
So he brought her flowers

The last time I saw him he was all alone
His eyes looked tired and his beard had grown
He walked along with a shuffling stroll
As he headed on down the road
To a plot where a gravestone stood

And he brought her flowers
When he didn't know what to do
He brought her flowers
To prove his love was true
When the road was rough
Or when times were good
When he knew his love could never be enough
But this love was all he knew
So he brought her flowers
He brought her flowers


1 http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-002-x/2012001/article/11634-eng.htm